


And Wouldn't it be Great if We Were Dead?

by LetsWrite



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: 'you’re a reaper escorting me to the afterlife and the road there is surprisingly long au', M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating May Change, Raywood, but not really??, nothing too graphic, ok so technically there is character death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-17
Updated: 2015-04-07
Packaged: 2018-03-18 07:16:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3560921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LetsWrite/pseuds/LetsWrite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It felt like waking up from a dream. You’re minding your own business until your mind (or alarm clock) pulls you into reality.That was the only way Ray could describe it. He had been walking home from work, and then suddenly, he wasn’t. It didn’t hurt, thankfully. And he didn’t even remember seeing the car heading straight at him. It felt like he’d just woken up, slightly groggy and momentarily unaware of his surroundings.</p><p>(ABANDONED)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Have You Heard the News that You're Dead?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically, this is a 'you’re a reaper escorting me to the afterlife and the road there is surprisingly long au' prompt from xaquaangelx I read on Tumblr and fell in love with. Hmu @ glowingeyesblurryface on Tumblr if ya feel
> 
> Also, I haven't written in a long ass time so if this sucks or you have any constructive criticism, I'm 100% open to hearing about it. I plan on updating this whenever I can, but the updates may be slow in the future.
> 
> Title Cred: Dead! - My Chemical Romance

It felt like waking up from a dream. You’re minding your own business until your mind (or alarm clock) pulls you into reality.That was the only way Ray could describe it. He had been walking home from work, and then suddenly, he wasn't. It didn't hurt, thankfully. And he didn't even remember seeing the car heading straight at him. It felt like he’d just woken up, slightly groggy and momentarily unaware of his surroundings.

Ray could hear the sirens as he just stared at himself. The rational part of his brain had already grasped what had happened, but the more prominent and emotional part of his brain was having trouble fully grasping it all.

_I just died. And now I’m fucking staring at my own goddamn body splattered on the sidewalk._ Was all that he was able to comprehend. Ray was broken from his trance when he heard voices behind him. Turning, he saw EMT’s running towards his body and the person in the car, who had mowed him down only to get stuck in a ditch.

He saw one of the EMT’s check his pulse, before trying to resuscitate him. But it was useless, and Ray starred on, helpless, as he saw the man shake his head and go over to try and help his buddy pull the unconscious driver from the car.

“That’s it?” He screamed, suddenly furious. “That’s all you’re going to do? No defibrillators, or mouth to mouth, or _anything_?!” He cried, only to go unnoticed by the EMTs. He wanted to hit something, yell at someone, but all he could do was fall to his knees. He was dead. _He was dead_. Ray felt like he had been punched in the stomach. How could this have happened? Why him? He was a good guy, never hurt anyone or did anything bad.

Ray was so caught up in his thoughts, he didn't notice someone approaching. He screamed in shock as he felt a hand on his shoulder. Scrambling away, he looked up. To his surprise, he was met with bored looking, blue eyes. It took a second for Ray to stand up and look at the man in front of him.

“Who the hell are you?” He asked, looking over the man. He looked like a pretty regular guy, tall, pretty well built, dressed in a blue long sleeved shirt and jeans. If Ray wasn't wallowing in self pity, he’d probably say the guy was actually kind of hot. Hell, if he was alive, he’d probably be trying to go home with him.

But Ray was dead, and getting laid wasn't at the top of his priority list. The man stepped forward.

“I’m the man who's going to take you to the afterlife.” He said. Ray was momentarily shocked at how deep this guy’s voice was, and the very slight but still there southern accent, but quickly regained his train of thought.

“Ok. So, what, you’re Death or something?” Ray asked, skeptic. The hot-death-man rolled his eyes.

“Not exactly. I’m more of a… reaper. I escort the dead to the afterlife, almost like a seeing eye dog.” He said, seemingly tired of the conversation already.

Ray contemplated for a moment. He already knew no one could hear him, and the scene was already flooded with cops who had obviously no idea he or hot-death-man were there. And hell, if he was already dead, there was nothing he could lose, right?

“So what, I just follow you and we head on in to the afterlife?” He questioned.

“More or less, yeah. See, everyone has a path to follow to reach the afterlife, and I’m supposed to help you along the way to make sure you get there. Depending on who you were when you were alive will influence your path.” He explained. “Your job is to reach the afterlife, my job is to see you there. Make sense?”

Ray absorbed the information. Ten minutes ago, he couldn't contemplate the thought of being dead. Now, he was about to go on his way with some “reaper” and make his way to the afterlife. What even was the afterlife? Heaven? Were there golden gates and people with wings? Were halos a thing? Would he see his past loved ones? His dog Wally that died when he was 7?

“Hey kid. You gonna stand there for the rest of eternity or what?” Hot-death-man said, bring Ray out of his thoughts. Ray looked him in the eyes and nodded.

“Alright. Let’s do this. I mean, YOLO, right?” He joked. Ray started to make his way towards the man before suddenly stopping in his tracks.

“So, how do we get this thing started? Like, how are we supposed to just start going on this path?” He asked.

“Basically, the first step if to get to the beginning of the path. I’m going to be your means of transportation, linking us to the first part of your path. It’s automatically there, appearing when you die. We need to be touching for it to work. I’ll send us to the first stop in the path, and we’ll need to get you past it and onto the next part. There’s no knowing how many parts there are or what they’ll be like. But, we’ll know when we reach the end. Do you understand?” Hot-death-guy explained.

Ray nodded. The other man held out his hand, and Ray was just about to take it when a question popped up.

“Wait.” He said. “If you’re going to be guiding me to the afterlife, can I at least know your name or something?”

That earned him a half smile that made Ray want to smile back. Ok, maybe getting laid could be near the top of that priority list.

“Ryan. Call me Ryan.”

Ray grinned. “I’m Ray. Nice to meet you.” He said, putting his hand it Ryan’s bigger one.

As soon as their hands made contact, a spark raced through them. A second later, and everything went bright.

****  
  


~*~

**  
Ryan didn't know anything about the kid, but already, he had a weird feeling in his gut. The second he saw the cute, nerdy looking Ray, he knew something was different. But, being who he was, Ryan ignored it. He knew his job and he was prepared to do it just like he normally would. But Ryan knew he wasn't going to get rid of the feeling anytime soon.**


	2. In the Truly Gruesome Do We Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yayyy!! update!! so, i'm sorry if this is short or sucks. if i missed something while editing, please let me know! I also really appreciate all the kudos i've already gotten, youre all way too nice!
> 
> tw: there's a little violence in this chapter, it's not very graphic, but if you are triggered by violence, here is your warning
> 
> chapter title cred: Novocaine - Fall Out Boy

Ray gasped when everything went bright. It lasted about a second, and when his feet his the ground, he felt like he’d just gotten off a roller coaster. However this Ryan guy had gotten them here, it was arguably the sickest way he’d ever gotten anywhere.

But, what was here? Ray blinked a few times, and took in his surroundings. He was his old best friend Kdin’s house. The place brought back memories, though not very good ones. Ray remembered the last time he’d been in the house, what had gone down. He was already afraid.

Ryan cleared his throat, and Ray looked at him, then to their hands. He blushed as he pulled back his hand that had been holding onto Ryan’s tightly. But the embarrassment was quickly forgotten when he heard the loud sounds of people arguing.

“Oh, fuck. No. This is our first stop? I have to go through this? _Again_?” Ray asked, voice unsteady. He could feel his hands start to shake. Ryan saw the terrified look on Ray’s face, and put an awkward, hopefully comforting, hand on Ray’s shoulder.

“That’s the catch.” Ryan said. “The path to the afterlife isn’t fun or easy. It’s a trial, to see if you’re fit enough to enter. I’m not allowed to say much, but I can tell you that it may not seem fair, but everyone has to do it.”

Ray turned his head to look at the door connecting the living room to the kitchen. He knew it would burst open any second. Right on cue, it slammed open, and he saw Kdin and himself come through. He remembered this memory perfectly, though he had tried to forget it forever.

“ _I can’t believe you, you dumb son of a bitch_.” Kdin yelled. His face was red, and he was cornering past Ray against the wall.

Ray looked on in pain, knowing what was to come. You know the saying “don’t corner a frightened animal”? Well, the same could be said for humans too, and he knew that well.

His past self’s expression changed from fear to fury. Ray couldn’t tear his eyes from the scene that played out in front of him. One second, he was watching himself against the wall, and then he watched as past Ray jumped at Kdin, forcing him to the ground. Ray winced and recoiled back in horror as he watched himself start to punch and wail on his old friend. He couldn’t even remember what it was that started their fight, but he did know that he had hurt someone who had been very important to him.

Ray snapped his eyes closed and held back tears as he heard Kdin yell. It seemed like centuries until he heard the yelling stop. It was silent for a moment, and he looked up. He watched himself get off of Kdin, who was crying softly on the floor of the kitchen.

_“Don’t come near me ever again_.” Past Ray told Kdin, before rushing out of the front door. Ray wanted to leave, to somehow die again and escape from this. He never forgave himself after that, and had sealed away every thought he could to forget that day. Ray had never been a violent person, but he had just snapped one day. Kdin had always tried to upset him, jokingly. He had never been serious. Ray had known that, and after that night, he had spent the rest of his life tearing himself up about it.

Ray refused to look at Ryan, he didn’t want to see the disgust in the other man’s eyes. “I’m… sorry you had to see that.” he murmured out hoarsely.

He was more that surprised when he heard a snort come from Ryan. Craning his head to look at the other, he raised an eyebrow.

“Look man,” Ryan said, voice steady as ever. “I have escorted mass murderers and psychopaths to the afterlife and had to watch as they did unspeakable things to helpless people. Fighting, albeit harshly, with someone is one of the least grotesque things I’ve seen.”

Ray stared at him, appalled. God, he’d probably seen Hell, silently watching as people were killed or worse. He tried to shake off the images in his head of what Ryan could have possibly seen.

“A-Alright. Now what? After watching that, what happens now?” He asked. His voice still sounded quiet and shaken, and Ray felt the urge to throw up.

Ryan seemed to ignore his question. “Would you do it again?”

Ray’s head snapped up, looking Ryan in the eye. Ryan looked stoney, cold. Like the question had taken his emotions away.

“Not even if you paid me.” Ray ground out. How could the bastard ask that? Didn’t he see how he already felt about it? The regret, the shame? Did he really have the fucking nerve? He was about to open his mouth when he saw a small smile appear on Ryan’s face.

“What?”

“You passed the first part of your path. Regret. Sorrow. It’s coming off of you in waves. You got through this by feeling regretful.” Ryan explained.

Ray had to close his eyes and take a breath. If this was how all the tests were going to be, he was terrified to see what came next. What if he had to watch himself doing every wrong thing he’s ever done? Would he spend eternity watching himself hurt people over and over?

“Hey. Ray. I know this is hard, okay? I went through it once, too. But it’s worth it. You’ll see.” Ryan offered. His words seemed simple, but they gave Ray a sense of comfort. He opened his eyes, determination flaming behind them.

“Alright.” He said. “Where to next?”

Ryan saw the look in the younger’s eyes, and had to restrain a smile. He felt a small sense of pride, knowing he had somehow motivated Ray.

“I have no idea.” Ryan said, holding out his hand to Ray. Ray looked at his hand for a split second before giving Ryan a small smile and connecting their hands. Though he expected the sparks this time, he couldn’t help but gasp at the pleasurable feeling.

And once again, it went bright.

~*~

**  
It had been hard watching Ray re-live the memory. Ryan may seem like an asshole, but he was actually more empathetic than he’d like to admit. Seeing the younger close to tears over something he had done made Ryan want to give the poor kid a hug. He had remembered his path, the trials that had awaited him. And he remembered the pain it was to complete it. He just hoped Ray’s path was easier than his had been...**


	3. Crack my Ribcage Open and Pull my Heart Right Through

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I'm sorry that I haven't updated this in forever, but I was in Wisconsin for a week without wifi and I'm having some school issues and not much time for writing. So i'm sorry if updates/new chapters are inconsistent and not as often as I wish they could be :/
> 
> TW: I hate to do this again, but there is violence. Not graphic, but bad even though I tried to make it as vague as possible... So here's your warning: violence.
> 
> Also, the makings of some Raywood near the end maybe ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 
> 
> chapter title cred: Swimming Pool - The Front Bottoms

When Ray’s feet made contact with the ground, he was surprised to see that he and Ryan were in the middle of an alley. It stank with whatever trash was in the dumpsters and there was something wet, and vaguely sticky, on the concrete. The slice of sky above was a flaming orange color and it was easy to determine that the sun was beginning to set.

The alley seemed somewhat familiar, but Ray couldn’t remember why. Growing up in New York, all alleys seemed the same. But for whatever reason, he felt some sort of remembrance in this particular scene.

“I don’t remember this.” He said, informing Ryan. The older seemed unsurprised. He knew that many people revisited memories or times they may not remember, maybe from early childhood or just the fact that the particular setting seemed uneventful to the person.

Of course, he couldn’t say much about it to Ray. Sharing information about the path or memories to the dead was a very sensitive rule, and he knew Ray would remember whatever this memory was in time.

They stood in silence for a moment, before a flash of light started making it’s way down the alley. Loud footsteps echoed  off of the walls and the sound of a child’s laughter filled the silence. Ray and Ryan watched as a dark haired child ran down the alley, looking over his shoulder quickly.

Ray tried to remember this moment, and he knew it was somewhere in the back of his mind, but he couldn’t for the life of him remember it. He knew the child was himself, from his childhood in New York, but his mind was still trying to process the memory.

He watched as his younger version hid in the shadows, turning off his flashlight. It was quiet in the alley for a split second before the sound of footsteps returned. Another boy was walking down the alley, examining it closely, obviously looking for Ray. He had his own flashlight, and slowly walked down the alleyway turning in from side to side.

_“Come on Ray, we’re going to be late. Your mom said we said we had to be back before sunset.”_ The other child called. His young, squeaky voice was laced with concern, obviously unhappy that they were going against Mrs. Narvaez’s rules.

Ryan felt Ray tense beside him. He looked over to see the man with a tight jaw. Obviously, Ray had remembered. And his eyes gave away the fact that he was displeased having remembered. Ryan felt a pang of sympathy, buried and forgotten memories were some of the worst to revisit.

The other child turned around, away from where young Ray was hiding, and missed as his friend ran out the other side of the alley. The other child sighed as he turned again and kept walking deeper into the darkness.

Ray knew that by then, his younger self was running towards home, thinking his friend was right behind him. He knew why he had buried the memory so far into the recesses of his mind. He knew why this was something he had to face again. It was worse than beating up Kdin. It was worse than that by far.

The other child had given up, thinking maybe he’d seen his friend run down the wrong alley, and started making his way out. Ray was clenching his fists, wanting to push the kid out of there, and kept thinking ‘run, run, get out of here, _run_ ’. But it was too late.

A menacing growl rung out, and the kid froze. A mangy, starved looking stray crept out from the shadows, a low, guttural sound rumbling through it’s chest. It’s sagging, scarred up face was lowered as it slowly approached the child.

The boy shook, and his breathing faltered was he turned his head, making eye contact was the mutt. The dog pounced, sending the kid to the cold, wet ground. His skull made a sickening noise as it made contact with the cement, and a scream escaped his throat, before being cut off by the dog.

Ray had to avert his eyes. The disgusting and terrible noises were bad enough, and he couldn’t watch as his the child was attacked by the canine. Without thinking, he clung to Ryan, burying his face in the older man’s shirt. Silent tears escaped his eyes, and his hands grasped at the shirt he cried into.

A wary but warm hand came around his shoulders, softly rubbing between his shoulderblades. Ray choked out a quiet sob, as the gruesome noises quieted. He couldn’t find the strength to detach himself from Ryan, knowing that if he looked up he’d see more than he could take.

The scene paused and Ryan continued to comfort the lad. After a few quiet moments of Ryan’s comforting, Ray was able to even out his breathing. The tears eventually stopped and he slowly let go of the older man. He was still close to Ryan when he looked up into the man’s blue eyes. Ryan gave the smaller a reassuring squeeze on his bicep.

Sirens sounded in the distance, coming closer and closer. Someone had heard the attack and called 911, Ray remembered.

Ray cleared his throat, still avoiding looking at the unconscious kid on the dirty alley ground.

“I-I remember now. I was six, and that kid - I can’t even remember his fucking name - was in a coma for months. His family moved away right after he woke up, but he was scarred so badly… I remember visiting him in the hospital once b-before his family blamed mine for the accident. They banned us from coming to visit him…” Ray trailed off, voice shaking.

Ryan was filled with the urge to pull Ray against him and comfort him again. He shook it off, instead opting to give the other a pat on the shoulder. Ray leaned into his touch and Ryan promptly ignored the tightening in his chest. Not the time.

“How did you deal with it?” He asked, voice low. He made an effort to be as gentle as he could be.

Ray let out a strangled breath, shoulders slumping forward. “We tried to send letters, apologizing as much as we could. But they never returned them. I kept going over it again and again, trying to think of a way I could have changed the outcome. I could have run down a different alley, or come out of the shadows, or not run away.”

Ryan was silent as Ray continued.

“I know it’s not my fault, but it’s hard. I let it weigh on me until I buried it. And I know it was no one’s fault, I do. But, fuck, I still wish I could have changed what happened that day…”

He looked exhausted. Ryan could tell that Ray was drained, emotionally and mentally, and it was taking it’s toll on the younger’s soul. Believe it or not, the dead could get tired. They could even sleep. Every life force needed rest.

Ryan held out his hand to Ray. “Come on. You’re worn out. I can take us to a ‘pit stop’ of sorts. Even the dead need to recharge.” He said softly.

Ray looked up, glassy eyes meeting Ryan’s.

“But what about this test?” He asked.

Ryan gave a soft smile. “You passed. The acknowledgement of knowing it wasn’t your fault, though obviously it was fucking difficult, was the key here. There are certain parts of fate you can’t outrun or change. The outcome was set, irreversible and going to happen anyway.”

Ray was disgusted, to say the least. Fate or destiny or whatever was cruel. Having to make a child and their family live through that? That was one of the most twisted things he could think of.

Without another word, Ray reached out and put his hand in Ryan’s.

~*~

**  
Ryan tried not to think of the way he had wanted to comfort Ray. This was his job, dammit. An assignment. If he started developing feelings for Ray, he would only be setting himself up for later pain. But he knew by the way he was starting to feel, it was going to be hard to ignore whatever emotions were starting to stir.**


End file.
